The martyr clad in a dark cobalt bathrobe paced slowly back and forth. Behind him a red curtain with a couple of LED monitor screens with the EBWF logo swirling from side to side. Mr. Sandow ran a hand along his scruffy beard, pondering for a moment. Soon the sound of the door opening made him aim his eyes towards the left of the scene.
Damien Sandow: Ah, tardiness will always be a landmark for the dimwitted, Miss Young.
The camera panned out slowly to show Renee Young, wearing a silver dress, her blonde hair dragged back in a ponytail.
Renee Young: I'm terribly sorry Damien.
Damien Sandow: No you're not. You're just a petty, budding announcer who has had her fame cloud her judgment. Enjoy your quarter hour of fame, while it lasts. Anyway, I understand you summoned me for you had divulgence that might interest me and the unwashed masses of the EBWF universe?
Renee Young: Yes, I…
Damien Sandow: Or did you request my presence so I could make your job easier… Given the fact I have a match tonight
Renee Young: Well, now that you're here I might as well…
Damien Sandow: SILENCE! I suspected you requested my presence only to calm down your apathy and lack of enthusiasm for your job. Let's get this over with… What is the notice you've brought me.
Damien Sandow took a step closer towards Renee, taking the microphone from her hand and positioning it so that it would seem as if he was holding a goblet of some sorts; Renee was forced to walk out of the scene and get a mic for herself.
Renee Young: Now, as we all know… You are very fond of spreading your teachings throughout the world, right?
Damien Sandow: Teaching? Are you sure you're not confusing me with Jesus Christ? Let's put it simply like this: I am a formidable man on a noble mission to enlighten the unwashed masses. Now, I have been here for a couple of months… And believe it or not, the ignorance of the EBWF roster has resounded in my head… I had come to the conclusion that in order to end this sea of ignorance from drowning you all… I might as well take an apprentice under my wing.
Renee Young: Which is exactly why I summ… I mean, which I called you. Because I wanted to tell you that the EBWF board of directors decided to listen to your petition…
Damien Sandow: My petition? It is you ignoramuses who keep clamoring for salvation… I am just a vehicle for knowledge and good form.
Renee Young: … Right. The EBWF board of directors decided to appoint you to your first pupil. I wanted to gather your thoughts about that?
Damien Sandow: Well it was already time those corporate half-wits allowed me to get my hands on some minds to mold. Even if it just one, that is one less ignoramus running amok. Today is one… Tomorrow there will be MILLIONS of Sandow Soldiers, spreading enlightenment all over the Earth.
Renee probably shivered at the thought, Damien did as well but for completely opposite reasons.
Renee Young: Anyways, Damien… I really hope you manage to get around your apprentice, who has quite a reputation…
Damien Sandow: Sure, sure! I am more than capable of guiding misled being back into the track of virtue and righteousness, regardless of their notoriety!
Renee chuckled. Apparently she was going to enjoy what was set to happen in a few moments.
Renee Young: Alright… Without further ado, let me introduce to you your first ever apprentice… Kelly Kelly!
Sandow couldn't believe it. Renee snickered slightly as the camera panned out to focus on the blonde fluffhead who had just pranced into the room. Her sculptural body barely covered by a pleated checked miniskirt and a blouse that exposed her complete midriff, her platinum blonde bangs of hair combed in pigtails. The girl dressed as a school girl walked past Renee and handed Sandow an Apple…
Kelly Kelly: Hey there! Are you like, my new teacher? I'm soOoOoOoOoO excited, cause I want to learn like, a lot of things!
The intellectual savior was still speechless. He grabbed a hold of the apple he was offered and nodded slowly, Renee smiled behind them.
Renee Young: So… Kelly! Why don't you tell us a little about yourself and why did you become Mr. Sandow's apprentice!
Kelly slowly curled a finger around one of her pigtails.
Kelly Kelly: Alrighty!
Damien Sandow: Speak proper English, please.
Kelly Kelly: Okie Dokie.
Damien's hands ran along his face, Renee chuckled.
Kelly Kelly: Well as you know I was… Kinda working here… Doing this and that… And the board… You know, the guys in charge… Were kinda worried about me. To this day I think they're just really boring… Because nobody worries about someone who parties a lot and meets all kinds of hot guys every night, right?
Renee Young: I guess so…
Kelly Kelly: So, these boring old men were worried… They told me the only way they would let me stay in EBWF and earn my paycheck was if I became Mr. Sandows app… Appp… God I HATE long words!
Renee Young: Apprentice.
Kelly Kelly: Yeah! That. So here I am, ready to be his… Uhh… Err… Student, or whatevs. Basically I am with Sandow because I've been a very, very bad girl…
Kelly had tilted her head to one side and shot a sly smile at the camera as she concluded that sentence. Damien Sandow was still speechless.
Renee Young: Riiiiiiiight. Damien… What do you think about your new apprentice? You should consider yourself fortunate… I bet she'd love to be molded by many other guys as well…
It was as if something had lit up inside Kelly, her smile soon faded.
Kelly Kelly: Are you calling me a slut? You're just a jealous Biat…
Sandow wrapped an arm around Kelly Kelly, covering her mouth.
Damien Sandow: Now, now. Ceallaigh… You'll get nothing from using foul language. She was just implying that you are an extremely enticing and alluring young woman…
Kelly Kelly: Are you calling me easy?!?!?!?!
Kelly kicked away from Sandow's grip and went straight for his beard, giving it a forceful tug.
Damien Sandow: No! Ouch! Enticing means…
Kelly tugged firmly on the beard.
Kelly Kelly: Easy?
Damien Sandow: No! No!
Kelly Kelly: Disgusting blonde girl who pees on a sink?
Damien Sandow: No! Noooo! Wait, why would you think it means that?
Kelly Shrugged.
Kelly Kelly: Decided to take a wild guess… Not like I ever took a pee on a sink while Maryse took a picture.
Kelly released Sandow's beard.
Damien Sandow: Why don't you find out what enticing is for your first assignment, Kelly?
Kelly Kelly: Damnnn… When is it due?
Damien Sandow: Tonight of course…
Kelly Kelly: Aw come on! That is so unfair!
Kelly stormed away from the scene, Renee looked at Damien, who brought the microphone closer to his lips.
Damien Sandow: I believe there was something else you wanted to inquire about…
Renee Young: Of course. You'll face Justin Gabriel tonight at Warfare… Now he is known for his extreme acrobatic style and speed in the ring.
Damien Sandow: Ah, yes… I've been able to see that not every competitor in the EBWF roster thrives on being the fiercest grappler or the most winning superstar. I've seen some pathetic excuses of wrestlers jestering and juggling their way to fame, like a bunch of buffoons. I've seen everything… From halfwits with eating disorders, to ignoramuses pretending to play musical instrument. The fact someone wants to earn his paycheck by doing acrobatics fails to bewilder me… As much as the unwashed masses call watching a dancing monkey flipping back and forth for their amusement, as much as people are jolted by Justin Gabriel's proficiency performing stunts, somersaults and other gymnastic feats… I believe in a much more careful approach to victory.
Renee Young: What might that be?
Damien Sandow: For once, I am glad you asked. I would definitely love to see how much balance, equilibrium and an upright gait Mr. Gabriel is able to keep after I have delivered my devastating cubito aequet repeated times on the back of his skull, straight onto his cerebellum… Did you know Renee, that the Cerebellum and the cochlea are the organs which allow human beings to hold balance, propioception and coordination? I believe those are essential when performing the way Mr. Gabriel does, right? Tonight I shall give another step towards my triumphant return to the top of the summit, to get back what has been taken off me… Tonight I will make an example out of Justin Gabriel…
Kelly's head popped back into the scene?
Kelly Kelly: Did somebody say Justin Gabriel? Gawd he's so hawwwwt!!!
Kelly bit her lower lip at the thought of the daredevil from South Africa.
Kelly Kelly: How do I look? Do I look okay? Do you think he'd give me his number? Where is he anyway? Is he a friend of yours Damie…
Damien Sandow: SILENCE! You shall adress to me as Mr. Sandow. And I'd have to be 30 IQ points under my current score for someone like Justin Gabriel to be considered my friend. I shall only fraternise with superior intellects!
Kelly Kelly: Does that mean you only bone smart girls? Are there any girls who are smart and pretty? I doubt it… Don't you, Renee?
Damien Sandow: Thank you for your irrelevant opinion, Ms. Kelly.
Kelly Kelly: You're welcome Mr. Sandow! Yay! Does this mean I earned my first gold star?
Damien Sandow: I shall not prize you with the bestowal of feeble trophies as long as you're my apprentice.
Kelly Kelly: ARGHHH! I DON'T EVEN GET A WORD OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU WON'T GIVE ME MY GOD STAR!!!!!
Damien aimed his head towards the ceiling.
Damien Sandow: What have I done to deserve this?
He then turned towards Renee.
Damien Sandow: This is really burdensome. Do you have any more inquiries?
Kelly Kelly: Can I go to the ring with you and meet Justin Gabriel?
Damien Sandow: If it puts an end to this nonsense… Then YES!
Kelly Kelly: Yay! Damien, you're the best! Just try not to hit him too hard, okay?
Kelly pranced away in a way that would make AJ Lee's soul burn with the power of a thousand suns. Sandow just ran his open palm along his face…
Damien Sandow: You're… Welcome…
The scene faded to black.
